Glug Glug

2007-07-11T06:30:00.000-07:00

Are you blonde?

In this world of political correctness, mere humans like me may goof up quite a bit..like speak our mind (i can hear you gasp) or expect people to take the initiative to say hi (get off the floor!!) Ok so i maybe wrong, expecting courtesy.Anyway, i chose to take the path of truthfulness and righteousness, translated:I will do as I please. On my way to attaining nirvana though, there is one thing that makes my brains jiggle. And often, sitting by the window (which is where you are expected to sit if our pondering over something eureka-ish) i am thinking "How do you tell someone they are dumb?". Do you let particles of grey matter out when you sneeze and then pray its contagious? Let big and complicated debates hanging in the air hoping they will take the hint? Or pound them with information with carefully memorized dates and events? (makes it also sound aunthentic..besides you can whoop with joy for remembering all that..if the person is dumb enough, they will also never check it up..causing you to be their hero). I dont know. Can you simply smash their skull? Any non-violent suggestions are welcome.

Btw, you will notice my use of hero. So just this once..hero/heroine. Ah! there.

2007-06-25T06:35:00.000-07:00

Hairy tales

My wandering about town in search of a decent hair dresser has led me to take this extreme step of blogging my hair worries. Situation is, I walked into this swanky salon in uptown Mumbai, where snooty receptionists with constipated smiles direct you to your hair stylist (that’s the name for people who wash your hair, cut it and then for some inexplicable reason blow-dry it. Rendering the first activity useless. This entire fuss also causes some very thrilled greens to leave the comfort of your pocket)

So, virgin in the land of hair fashionistas,, I expect a charming, cute woman to walk upto me with a smile. Instead, turns up miss uber cool- fresh off the catwalk look, stilettos et al..Am I expected to pay this woman who looks like she could buy me off? As we walk towards what seemed like the gallows (maybe that’s where they take the people who are a walking fashion faux pas). I almost faint with relief as we approach a rather fatherly salon chair. As my butt causes the cushion to heave, I can feel her eyes tut tut my hairstyle. She then washes my hair, and finally gets the elusive scissor near my split-ended locks. Now, for those who are befuddled, it is and may I repeat it is imperative that they play with your hair a couple of times. Do not take this personally. As the minute hand lazes down to 20 minutes, shes blow-drying my hair, Some serious heat enters my skull. And I can bet some of my ear wax almost melted. Armed with mousse, she takes to my hair with vengeance and a little more blow-drying, I am coiffured. Ta da and my new look is revealed to me. I like it. I like the way the hair falls on my face, on my face, on my face (aarrgghh annoying) but I smile and am ready to hit the road. After the aforementioned green event, I make my way to the nearest bus. Yeah so it seems like a luxury, but I need to get home. With regular encouragement from the bus conductor, cheap men and sewage breeze, I tie my hair up. It looks better this way.

2007-06-20T05:15:00.000-07:00

A pound for your thoughts

A rather intellectual conversation with a friend caused frenzied activity in my brain. What if, and you will know how remote a possibility this is, we could lose weight for everytime we thought intelligent thoughts. Now before you shout in protest, i understand that classification would be ..umm..well difficult. But that takes away from the thought. Lets tuck our concerns away as a fat deposit. Say you were thinking about global warming, the words being a meta tag for the brain to kickstart its processes. So your brain would pump some energy to your nerves and push it through to the heart. The heart in all its cupid-disgusted glory will unleash more energy and your metabolism will up itself. And before you know it, global warming will make you sweat. Imagine all the fun you could have. Just simply tune in your thoughts and bang! you have lost pounds. And of course, people like me (puffed chest and all) would be petite creatures worth some good ol Hollywood glory. Me being a copywriter, in case you were wondering. Cellulite-reduction creams would come with some grandmom advice about how to get thinking. These would be enhanced with almonds to aid thinking. Self-help book titles would read ' 7 habits of highly thinking people'. Thinking caps could actually become a brand. You could sin with a bowl of strawberries and fresh cream and make it vanish. Paris Hilton, out of the way, fat lump.

2007-06-19T06:03:00.000-07:00

Its a match made in heaven.. they say about marriage. A close friend of mine between whoops of joy and glorious bouts of enthusiasm has explained to me that her brother has finally given the fugitive nod..for marriage. So what are we talking here? About long relief and happiness-induced bouts of gyrating by rolls-of-fat aunties and almost-passed-out uncles. Of course, everyone truns up for the reception fresh as a daisy to wish the couple thrown into the circus . Some people bring the money to wish them luck and maybe cover up the expenses for the buffet their going to drown into- mintues after getting off stage. Now i dont mind this extravagance. But what gets my grey cells is this arranged marriage funda. A guy and girl are thrown into holy matrimony with a an inkling of an idea about the other person. I mean, how much can a joker parade with tea cups reveal? And cheeky parents suggesting "take 15 mins alone" isnt really my idea of a date. After which, as the situation gets more awkward the dads crack crass jokes and mom cast appreciative eyes and shake thier heads at their hilarious husbands. The kids cringe, passing an eye around the place for a possible way to duck this show. A buffet of namkeens and sweets are laid out, enough to keep one on the treadmill for a long time. And at the end of this evening, as the family heads back home, the possible groom and bride remain clueless. I think live-ins are more fun. Forewarned ir better.

2007-06-13T04:56:00.000-07:00

Days like these can really get a monkey thinking about his career. And I am only human. You know how we always think the perfect job would be one where the money flows in and all we have to do is put our feet up? But you know what? Sitting here i know its not as much fun as it sounds. Frustratingly worse when you can see an opportunity to sleep. So often a day goes by without a solitary word escaping my fertile mind into the white canvas of Word. And this day is marked my subtle and somtimes desperate attempts to find something to while away time. And more frenzied efforts to restrain my over-active imagination. With people here clinging on to briefs and actually working with the servicing people, bells are clanging away in my head. I know i should move and do something laudable, or audible or as a saving grace something that is even plausible. But sitting here i am being driven out of my brains. Maybe i should use this time to reflect on better times. But then these are better times. I guess ill just head back to the heated deabte i was having with the paper shredder..

2007-04-03T08:20:00.000-07:00

Asta la vista

Time:8.30 pm
Date:29th March 2007
Occasion: To celebrate our reaching corporate puberty
A farewell bring out the well in all of us..for some like me where tears threaten to spill over at the mention of a goodbye, its a spring. Seems like a farewell can make any1 cry. Lets try and identify species.
Sozzlers: Their habitat is often located next to bars and around them. Frequently spotted with drink and a funny walk, this species keeps danger at bay by going beserk with the drinks. Their behaviour is marked by vigourous gyrating mostly out of rhythm.

Look at mes: Found in places with maximum action, this species looks to force emotion out of people. Typical behaviour includes throwing themselves into people's arms with hyterical cries. This species identify thier target and jump in at an opportune moment to garner eyeballs. Crocodile tears and air kisses fly thick and fast. After these histronics, they leave their bewildered prey to fend for themselves

em genuines: These guys are the ones who actually manage to convince themselves they are going to miss everyone including the nose picking puntu. They hug everyone (yes puntu as well) and hope to god they will meet again. Sincere and nice, if u have missed them for 2 years u will know them at the farewell.

There are more but words seem eroded..Batch of 2007..if i loved being here it was bcoz of u guys..Thank you!

2007-03-12T05:10:00.000-07:00

The Lyrics of the new Nike commercial

This one makes you proud of Indian advertising

Rav patrao rav (Wait partner wait...) Khedong maka di mhunta aao (...let me play, i say) Khedong maka dina zhalya (If you don't let me play...) Tuzho kortelem patlanv (... i will keep chasing you) Khedoch amche oslen (Our game is like this only...) Kednanch ravonk nosle (... never have time to wait) undir mazaracho khed yo koslo (What kind of cat & mouse duel is this...) maka bhogta oslen (...that I love so much) Arre maaroon, dhoroon, phodoon saiba (In this hitting & catching & breaking..) noxib mozhe phoslen. (... my destiny is entrapped)

special mention: a special friend who sent me these lyrics

2007-03-09T22:26:00.000-08:00

Paint em Blue

Its festival time. As eyeballs get glued to the Carribean, desperate prayers escape lips. Welcome to India. The land of culture,tradition and cricket. And its that time of the year again. Its World Cup 2007. Its the time when sports channels make the big bucks, advertisers are on an overdrive and people in general are going mad.
Moms store their namkeens as young boys attack a house in the nieghbourhood. Sales of thalis and spoons increase. They do create enough ruckus to celebrate a wicket. Dads steal glances at screens during client meetings. Grand parents get up early or sleep late adjusting to West Indian timings. Young boys trade afternoon games with naps to bribe moms into late nights. Crowds outside electronics store sky rocket. And more oftne then not the country is a pretty shade of blue.

Commercially, merchandising is taken to another level. From tshirts to bats to even underwears, everything is blue. There is talk about who will play, who wont and about whether player wives should be present. Theres controversy about the minnows. And about physical fitness of players. About the pitches and the underdogs. World Cup fever in India could make for a perfect Bollywood potboiler.

My point. You guys in blue. Go get em!!

2007-03-09T22:07:00.000-08:00

So i am almost done with my college. Funny part is i dont know what to feel. Yeah i pretty much abhor this place, its functioning or the lack of it and the "fuckulty". To put it nicely i wont miss this place. Not the building, the stuffy classrooms or the white boards. But what i will miss are the people. So it wasnt always fun. There were too many friendships sacrificed at the altar of assignments. Too many sweet nothings ignored due to ppt pressures. Lots of love lost for the want of a computer.
But the people. Love em, hate em marry em..u still know them. There are the ones u wish u neva see again. But down the road, a meeting around the corner is certainly going to be pleasant.There are the ones i fell in love with. And some figured in the grey zones. There are these people who figured in my life for 2 years. Yeah ill miss having them around.But what will i miss more?
I will miss passng perfectly inconsequential chits around in class. Miss the thrill of sneaking in a bite into classes. Miss catching winks during a particularly boring lecture. ill miss being in my comfort zone
To all the people who made it thru 2 years...Cheers!!

2007-01-07T07:31:00.000-08:00

There is something about Mary. And her little lamb. She got knocked up and he aint lil anymore

2006-12-22T05:55:00.000-08:00

Confession: i have put on a lil weight (ok lots of it..yeah yeah smirk)
Remedial step taken: have finally joined the gym

I take my first shaky step into the world of losing weight. Its shakier now tht i have crunched my abs as much as my crazed abodomen muscles would allow and squatted enuf to give street urchins a run for their poverty. Have toned, which surprisingly involves much more effort than the cleansing-toning-moisturising bit. Have also conditioned, without the the shampoo. Life fitness (a brand of fitness equipment for the unhealthy mcdonald crunchin unintitated people) has actually given gettin nowhere a whole new meaning. And you would think life is frustrating!

2006-12-11T08:02:00.000-08:00

I love being a woman..there is all the gossip, the license to cry, crib aboout weight, be unreasonable and blame pms, yeah all that is the fun. The not so fun part is a visit to the parlour. We do have our manicures and pedicures and sometimes headache cures but now those are the frilly expenses. which most student women would umm for financial reasons forgo..the difficult part is the threading..now u may not think this is that bad..coz u eyebrows and upperlips could for most men translate into foggy and no idea zones. But for us fairer sex this ritual is a pain. some what like pullin ur chest hair. yeah now u know what im talkin about. But we do it.. to look good..and preferably less hairy. Not that waxing is fun either. Let me not explain to u how that feels. For any other reason, being a woman is just fine.actually its pretty gr88

2006-11-28T21:14:00.000-08:00

My blog seems dormant and i have decided to nudge it into functioning. I can almost see it yawn with irritation.(or relief)
There has been not much happenin around in my life to blog it. Pretty much nuthin. Its so mundane im starting to question my existence. One of the questions i have recently, to add to my misery, is growing up. So i went thru my bit during the teenage years. The desperate need to create an identity. With pimples, boyfriends and periods thrown in for good measure. And yeah, parents and deadlines and all that. This blossoming period has been discussed. But what people didnt tell me about was this period. You are on a budget. Or actually both my parents and I pretend im on a budget. which i regularly screw up. So the whole i wanna stand on my two feet bit. And then pressure to get placed. and placed well. and for nomads like me. where is a question. and how. and logistics and all that. now someone used to making decisions as big as whether its gonna be mcdonalds or pizza hut, this exactly my cup of anything. It isnt even a cup.
And then far off relatives, sometimes they are so far off you dont even knw if ur still related, pretending to be samaritans and call to ask if ur ok and alive n feeding the monkeys at the zoo. Then extending the samaritanism, ask if i have anyone in my life.and how i can always tell them and that they will help conquer the battle with my parents.(what!?! no really what!?!)
If this doesnt sound appetizing enuf, there are assignments of no consequence, lectures with alumni of no standing, sitting or even encroaching.
My point is my life is a blur, no wait is it unsharp?? (tryin to get my photography rite) no its a blur alrite of insignificant activity backed my resolution to bore my self to death.
You get it. I m soooo frustrated.

2006-10-26T06:47:00.000-07:00

Now..im only 22 (on the brink of 23 but wht the hell young nonetheless)..n a visit to my beloved home has caused me anxiety of enormous proportions..i knw this is something tht afflicts most Indian parents..in my diagnosis this a case of "feminine entrapment"..my parents look at me..uh huh theres the look..they look at me n at each other n then at me again..im startin to get distinctly uncomfortable..mom looks at me n in a conspirational tone says "Do you have anyone?"..Do i have any1??what sorta question is that??like skeletons in my closet..or like am i a cannibal or somethin??I look at her n dread befalls the maiden..i can almost hear my relatives smile n say "finally"..so i say "for what?" which obviously is stupid..n my mom thinks so as well..oops the repraochful look..So i confidently say no..after which they tell me 500 people have asked for me...u knw moms..they say its 10.30 whem its actaully nine..so i try n get intelligent..nah cant be 500 i say...okie ghalat jawab.."we r thinkin of startin to look for guy"..a half smile pasted on my face is not helping things..i almost laugh..cant but a giggle escapes..now dad is lookin at me..which is a good thing..so i say "but i have a career to make"..now to all women tryin to get out of a situation like this..this is not exactly a very vital point..valid yes..important..no!so try somethin else..but i stick to my guns..n my sanity..it takes 2 years to find a guy..says dad..2 years?? ok..hmm i say thotfully..n then shut up..which i think is a good move..cz i haven decided..n leave..lets say a graceful exit..as graceful as u can get when there r rabid dogs chasin u..for more on the chronicles of mansis marriage..stay posted...

2006-10-12T00:51:00.000-07:00

This post is dedicated to the man i have grown to love..someone who is tough and gentle, who inspires me and makes me think..he plans life, fails miserably and still takes each day head on...whos all grown up and still a child..who dreams big and dreams small..he who hasnt had life fair but is positive..he who cannot be suffocated into a post..to the man i admire..i love u

2006-09-29T02:40:00.000-07:00

An ode to Mumbai

Mumbai..hmm..just back frm a trip to tht gorgeous place..i dont knw wht it is abt the city..the people, the energy, the attitude or mayb all of this..a city i have grown to love and adore..at times wishin it were human..from the familiar smell tht assaults senses at Mahim to the absolute elegance of Marine Drive at night..the metallic coldness of the train bars..the chatpata pani puri at chowpatty..the cacophony of voices at Churchgate station..its a delight for all my senses..celebs in designer garb pose for the flashbulbs..fisherwomen in nawaris battle the sunlight..college yuppies hang out at Mocha..tycoons nurse a Jack Daniels..from the Malabar hill to Dharavi..the BMWs glide the city roads..the locals thunder past with equal spunk..a royal Victoria Terminus stands tall in its ancient glory..a Thapar house carves its dainty niche..heaps of books bake under the lazy sun at Fountain..paperbacks cushioned at Crossword shelves..nimbu paani refreshes haggard travellers..iced tea sips coolin diamond laced throats..Zaveri Bazaar diamond merchants munch hungrily at vada paos..Nariman Point execs chomp at Mcdonalds..salesmen haggle with cranky women at Fashion Street..Heels click the marble floor at Inorbit..a indefatigable spirit coupled with a undyin agility...a city full of myriad possibilities..each beautiful..each unique..heres to the city tht lives in me..

2006-09-20T23:48:00.000-07:00

Cheers! a win every indian should be proud of..n yeah if u eva see the replay u dont wanna miss the dhonis expression when the ball was comin down on dravid..anyways u arent on cricinfo so gettin to the point of this post..ever since mandira has been plastered on my screen with 2 inch of clothin on my 21 inch screen my feminist mind has been on an overdrive..the pre during and post match shows..everything laced with pretty chicks..chicks with negative iq and think a pitch has somethin to do wid the vocal cards..who smile stupidly whenver the camera pans to them..or blurt out a contest question as a savin grace..wht were they thinkin comin on a cricket show??Now channel ppl be intelligent..pick me..i knw swing and spin and a doosra and wht "in the blockhole means"..

2006-09-19T06:01:00.000-07:00

My tryst with copywritin

Yeah so I wanna be a copywriter. I know my alphabet, understand grammar and love to think..daydream actually..but lets stick to think. So Mr. Egghead asks me “Why advertising”... I try my thoughtful expression which is not the right one. Coz hes lookin at me like you don’t know? So..burp..shit tht cold pizza in the morning..i try the trash that they taught me at college…the one where they say write a paragraph using the words brand, communication, consumer and research…yeah I did really well in tht one..so I sit up n say hey! This cant be tht bad. So I give him something about understanding the consumer, communicating the brand personality (it can have the personality of a slobbering couch potato buh wht the heck) at which point im positive I heard a snore..I look up from my laser like concentration on my toes at egghead.
Egghead looks at me..something like when the doctor is going to tell you you have genital warts..its not a really nice expression..something like a mixture of disappointment and actually umm I don’t know but basically a lot of so-u-think you are going to get this job??At which point im convinced it’s the wrong answer..now my grey cells are doing an awkward salsa trying to figure out an answer..I decide I cant just sit there..so I do my “lets feign intelligence” move..a combination of gesticulations and eyes on an overdrive..most of the time I end up lookin like a circus clown on a bad day…I muster up my courage and look at egghead. So y a copywriter?I knew this was comin..the favourite weapon in the creative armoury..im ready for this one though..coz I love playing with words and language interests me..and I wanna build brands..smirk smirk..egghead is lookin at me like im a lab specimen..
i wish the chair was more comfortable..neva figured y chairs wld the butt space perfect for an overweight ant..esp without cushions..y..
.returning to the land of mayhem..by now ive patted my back with rockstar enthusiasm …restoring balance I resume my staring at egghead with my safe expression..egghead gets up, says “not exactly what I want..but will do..”..i jump with glee while tryin to appear professional..wow I have landed my first job as a copywriter..it does feel nice..aspirers of the world..unite!!

2006-09-17T03:06:00.000-07:00

My entry on bloggin planet..
I am not a very techie person..actually im not techie at all and have my doubts abt the person bit..nonetheless..its nice to have a "blog" of my own. Since most people droppin me a cookie mite not knw who im..heres an intro. I am 22 year old woman, an aspiring copywriter, a loyal friend, crazy chick, intelligent listener, buddin foodie, witty fiend, smell connoisseur and a coca cola drinker. Now tht ive been packaged nicely, i really dont knw wht else to write. Shall blog arnd the place wen have more to share..
till then
muah